A Second Chance for the Changed
by witty-cc
Summary: What if Kagome snuck home in the middle of the night and found something unexpected waiting for her on the other side? Years later, a very changed and different Kagome uses the well and is given something precious... a second chance... InuKag MiroSan Ra
1. Changes

Disclaimer: Ya'll know I don't own it...

R&R ok first posted fan fic... let me know what you think. I won't continue if I don't get feedback. Flames are welcome, just be decent, K? Enjoy... hopefully.

Kagome erupted in triumphant laughter as her feet connected with solid group again. It was pitch black in the well, as it was night and she was now inside the well house. She sighed at the polluted air but smiled that she had escaped Inuyasha for at least the night. 'Finally' she thought with a grin 'a night alone.' Kagome readjusted her backpack and began her climb. It wasn't that she disliked Inuyasha and the others or that she didn't like spending time with them, truth be told, after being with them for 4 years she loved them all dearly. It was just so very difficult to be alone in the feudal era and she needed her space sometimes. Having reached the top, Kagome swung her legs over the lip and headed to the doors. With a quiet heave she shoved the doors open and she froze. Standing not 2 feet from her was a man. His hair and clothing stood deathly still in the light breeze that blew around Kagome and she shivered involuntarily. She couldn't find her voice to scream and she knew at that moment that she had never, and would never again be more terrified than she was then. His hair was inky black and shoulder length and his face was fair and Caucasian. He stood a good foot and a half taller than her and wore an ankle length black trench coat and combat boots. If she hadn't been scared breathless, she would have laughed at the cliché-ness of the clothing. As she stood quivering, staring into his eyes, they began to glow red. Then he moved. Like a serpent of death, he swept down on her and sunk his canines into her neck. Her mouth feel open in a terrified, silent scream as her body felt as if it was on fire. The man's arms slipped around Kagome's petite waist and held her against his broad chest. Kagome's thoughts blurred and her vision swam. 'Inuyasha...'

Kagome sat bolt up right in her bed. It was that dream again. The memory of that night still brought her into a cold sweat. She swung her legs out of her king sized feather bed and stood. She wore short red boxers and a tight black thin strapped tank top. She wandered over to the window of her bedroom and partially drew back the thick black drapes. It was a few hours before sunrise. She looked out over New York City from her 200th floor penthouse suite. Life had never been the same.

She felt the blood being drawn from her and then she felt weightless. The man had moved but she was numb. Next she knew she was drinking down a bittersweet liquid from a cold wrist. Her eyes drifted closed and her consciousness retreated into her mind. She watched as a dark energy plunged into her. It wasn't necessarily evil; it was empty and felt of death. Her pure miko energy surged from within her to clash head on with the invasion. But to Kagome's surprise her pure pink energy enveloped the darkness and constricted. She vaguely felt her body seizure under the conflict. As the globe of energy shrunk it began to glow a deep vibrant red. Her miko energy had purified and assimilated the foreign entity. Her tongue felt heavy as she slipped back into consciousness and thick with a tangy metallic taste. 'Blood...' her mind registered for her. She felt herself lying on a bed and her eyes shot open. She rubbed her eyes with her now clawed hands. Her mind froze. 'Claws?' Her tongue crawled along her teeth and found her canines elongated. 'Fangs?' Then she felt it. The man was in the room. Her head snapped to the side, and as she tried to stand she found herself too fatigued to do so. Her eyes locked with the shadowed figure next to the bed.

"You've recovered from your rebirth." The man said quietly. "Good."

Kagome's mind sluggishly clicked. Bite...Blood...claws...fangs...death... "oh kami." She whispered.

The man laughed a quick harsh laugh and frowned. "No kamis can help you anymore."

"Where?" Kagome whispered.

"New York." The man said shortly.

"What...?" Kagome began weakly curling in on herself.

"I am your sire. You are a vampire." He said briefly.

Kagome let the information sink in. She felt within herself seeking the truth and found no evil, no demon. She had saved herself, somehow. She wasn't cold. She wasn't dead.

"I'm not dead." She muttered in denial and rebellion.

The man snorted condescendingly. "You think I couldn't tell, bitch. I don't know what you did." His voice was venomous. "You're alive, breathing, with a heart beat, and yet you have been reborn."

'I ran as soon as I could.' Kagome thought as she watched New York City wake up. 'And I ran right into the sunlight and didn't die. I ran where Cyrus couldn't follow. But he found me that night. And the night after. And the night after, until I stopped running from the truth.' Kagome turned and looked at her clock. It read 6:00, Friday July 13, 2081.

"Eighty years." Kagome mumbled as she entered her bathroom. She stripped of her clothes and turned on her shower. The hot water beat against her bare skin and Kagome sighed. She had finally talked Cyrus into letting her go back to Tokyo. She had kept track of her family through Cyrus' contacts. They had been devastated at Kagome's apparent death but had moved on. Souta had grown up and married and had 4 children. He had died only last year. It had killed Kagome to not be there for his funeral but Cyrus' trust in her was uneasy and he was not yet ready to let her to back to Japan. But now he trusted her enough to let her go. Today she would be going home. She clutched the half jewel around her neck and sighed. Maybe she'd go back to that home to. Finish the jewel finally. That is if the well let her through. Honestly she was terrified of what she might find.

She shut off the shower and readied her self for the day. Cyrus had taken a red eye flight last night over to Tokyo to get settled in before sunrise and Kagome's flight was in two hours. She blow-dried her black and red hair and left it down. Sometime over the years she had impulsively died the underneath half of her hair blood red and the combination had stuck. She put on thin black eyeliner and mascara and darker maroon lip-gloss. Her skin had darkened, after her spending as many hours in the sun, away from the vampire world of night, as possible. She looked at herself in the mirror. She had a total of six ear piercing, 2 on her right and four on her left, and her eyebrow was pierced, she wore a metallic spike through the hole. She had gotten many other piercings through the years, most of which had healed over. She revealed in the momentary pain and adrenaline rush that overwhelmed for a moment the pain in her still very much human heart. Those many years ago, the miko in her had killed of the parasitic demon, but had acquired all the aspects and immortality but somehow kept her humanity.

She pulled on a pair of guy short khaki's and a black tanktop, grabbed her duffel and headed toward JFK airport and her flight home.

Kagome sat astride her black crotch rocket, still wearing her helmet and stared at the shrine. It hadn't changed much. There was now security around it, which made her laugh. It was amid a very high tech and modernized Tokyo and the shrine was very much stuck in the past. Cyrus wanted her to come straight to the hotel from the airport but Kagome had other ideas. She wasn't going to pass up a chance to try the well. She had stopped off at a retro store and picked up several packs of ramen as a peace offering just incase He was still around. Kagome's heart still ached with unrequited love for the hanyou even after more than half a century. She knew deep down that she would always love him. She swung her leg over the side of the bike and dismounted. She kicked out the stand and pulled off her helmet. After adjusting her floor length black trench coat she shouldered her full duffel bag. Her footsteps were unsteady as she headed for the stairs and the guard hut. A uniformed man stepped out as she approached and halted her approach.

"What's your business here?" The man asked, not unkindly.

'What?' she thought stupidly. 'This is a shrine. Maybe I'm here to pray.' "To pray." She said with a blank look.

"The bag?" The man questioned.

Kagome sighed. "Clothing and food. I have a love of ramen." She said opening it up to his eyes. "I only have a bike, so I didn't want my bag stolen."

The man nodded and smiled. "There is a tour in a half hour or you are welcome to look around." He looked at her for a moment. "I hope you find the peace you seek."

"Thank you." Kagome whispered and climbed the stairs. She stood for a moment looking at the main house with nostalgia. The she turned and strode across the courtyard and toward the well house. She was a few feet away when she heard a male voice call out.

"Miss! The well house if off limits." Kagome glanced over her shoulder to look at a middle aged man who look very much like an older Souta. 'My nephew' She thought with a sad sigh and continued striding forward. The man's footsteps were hurried as Kagome wrenched open the door and ducked inside. "Miss. I must really protest." He continued politely.

"Sorry." Kagome called out in Japanese as she launched herself over the lip of the well. 'Please work, Please work.' Her mind cried out. She felt the familiar tug of magic and sighed, however quiet suddenly the blue light flashed bright white and Kagome was no longer falling but being thrown backward. With another white pulse Kagome felt herself collide with the side of the well and fell harshly to her knees. With a whispered prayer, Kagome looked up into clear blue sky. She felt like screaming and she did. She threw her head back from her spot in the bottom of the well and screamed out her joy and release. The sound tore through the air and Kagome grinned.


	2. Remembering

Disclaimer: Didn't own Inuyasha last chapter, don't own him now... and surprise surprise I won't own him next chapter.

I'm not too sure on how consistantly I will be updating, but as long as my muses keep talking I'll keep writing. Hopefully it will be once or twice a week. R&R!

Thanks to Pupetta, scribblenumba4, Chibi Senshi of Saturn and Kagome M.K. If you like the story, you should thank them too, I'm writing because they reviewed! Thanks to all my reviewers.

CH. 2

With her first joyful laugh in nearly 8 decades, Kagome bent her knees and propelled herself out of the well with an inhuman jump. Her knees bent slightly with the impact of her boots on grass and she dropped her bag and breathed deeply. She analyzed the smell of things around her. First she smelt someone approaching it smelt like earth and something candy and childlike. And then she smelt a warmer, more mature earth scent and a forest after rain. The latter was so familiar to her, even after 80 years. No one could smell as much like home as her hanyou. Her heart beat on rapid fire almost immediately, he was still alive and he was coming this way.

"KKKAGGGOOOOMEEE!!!" A child's voice tore through the air and Kagome turned in slow motion to see an orange blur heading straight for her. Her mind was immediately gelatin. Her instincts made her hand fly up and catch the child around the torso. She held him at arms length and she nearly fainted when she looked into the unchanged face of a Shippo. His eyes wavered in confusion for a moment and then he launched himself onto her again hugging her neck tightly. "You came back early!" He squealed.

"Wha..." Kagome breathed out and her mind didn't comprehend anything. 'Early?' She thought.

"You smell different." He said as he sniffed her. "You look different too."

"Uhh..." Kagome said again unintelligible.

Then Kagome's heart stopped and she fell to her knees. There he was standing a yard or two before her. "Oi, wench." He said gruffly. "Why didn't you stay your extra two days? Sango said you wanted ten, I was going to let you have break." He ended in a mumble. Then his eyes fell on her position on the ground. "Hey, Kagome, you okay?"

Kagome began to shake. And she became cold very suddenly. "How long have I been gone?" Kagome asked very quietly, using her voice for the first time.

Inuyasha's eyes filled with worry as he strode to squat before her. "What's wrong?"

Kagome began to shake more violently with confusion, hope and fear. Did the well give her a second chance? "How long?" She demanded quietly.

"Eight days, Kagome. Please what's wrong?"

Kagome shook her head. "Shippo. Go back to the village, please."

"But you just got back..." he began to whine.

"Shippo. Go. Please." Kagome pled weakly.

He backed away from her with hurt eyes and walked dejectedly away. Once he was out of sight Kagome let out a long shuttering breath. She reached out and wrapped her arms around Inuyasha's neck pulling herself against him. He slowly returned the embrace uncertainly.

"Kagome?" he asked concern lacing his voice. He breathed in her scent only partial acknowledging the slight taint. He pulled her tighter and rested his forehead on her shoulder as she nuzzled into him. He opened his eyes and looked directly at a scarred bite mark. A deep growl grew in him and he recoiled from her. "What the hell!?" He bellowed with a deep snarl.

Kagome scanned his face but his eyes were locked on her neck. Her hand rose to the side his eyes burned into and felt the two raised scars. 'Oh...' "It isn't what you think." Kagome said in her defense looking at him pleadingly.

"What do you mean, it isn't what I think!?" He grounded out. "That's a fucking mating mark, Kagome. Don't try to tell me its not. I'm a demon for Kami's sake."

"Its not." She said simply as she reached out to him.

"The hell it isn't!" He retreated from her hand. "That's why you smell different. Shit, Kagome, you were only gone eight days!"

Kagome mentally flinch at his insinuation that she was loose. "Inuyasha." She began growing tired of his insensitive ranting. "You're trying my patience." Kagome said in a cold voice that years of being who she was had developed. His head snapped to look in her eyes. "For you, I have been gone eight days." She swallowed hard. "But for me, Inuyasha, it's been eight decades."

"Eighty years. Feh! I'm not stupid." Inuyasha growled out. "You haven't aged at all."

"Oh course I haven't you baka. Kami! Will you listen to me for once in your life? I know you trust me in some way, Inuyasha. I'm not lying about this." Kagome cried out frustrated for the first time since she had been turned. "I'm not human anymore. Look at my teeth." She opened her mouth and he reluctantly looked.

"What? Fangs?" He questioned holding open her mouth to look closely. He let go and looked at her questioningly.

"Claws too." Kagome added holding up her hand.

"What..."

"Happened?" Kagome sighed. "Inuyasha, do you know what a vampire is?"

Inuyasha nodded and then froze, his eyes widening in comprehension. "No..." he whispered in horror.

"When I went down the well, eight days ago for you, I was bitten by my sire, Cyrus. My miko energy somehow purified the demon that I should have been, but I'm still a vampire, just not dead."

"Not dead?"

"You held me Inuyasha; I'm not cold to the touch. I'm not another cold dead bitch." Kagome bit out with a small growl. Kikyou. Kagome never wanted to think about her again and now she was. "I haven't seen anyone that I knew here in Japan past or present in 80 years. My family has died. I thought you all had died. Finally I talked Cyrus into letting my come home and I headed straight for the well. It gave me a second chance. It let me have a chance at my life."

"You live with this...Cyrus?" Inuyasha asked jealousy only mildly apparent.

"Stop it. I already told you it's not a mating mark. He watches out for me Inuyasha." Kagome said quietly. She watched him warily, aching to reach for him again. She could smell his scent so strongly; it smelled so much like home that Kagome couldn't resist throwing her arms around him and buried her head into his chest.

"Kagome, what...?" He stuttered uncomfortably.

"Get used to it." Kagome demanded as she held him tightly breathing in his scent. "Kami, I've missed you." She whispered. But he heard and hugged her back. "I should go talk to the others too." She said after a moment of swimming in his warmth.

"Hmm..." he mumbled into her hair.

Kagome smiled and she felt him smirk in return. She pulled back but the hanyou stopped her at a foot. His other hand came up and looked at the half completely Shikon jewel. "You still have it."

Kagome nodded. "We will finish it, I am stronger now."

"Feh. You'll always be weak and need protection." He said gruffly as he let her go and put back up his tough guy façade.

Kagome easily ignored his comment. So many years around him had made ignoring his attitude easy most of the time. And some many years away from him made it easy for her to forgive. For the first time in a long time, Kagome felt at ease. "Race ya." She shouted as she darted toward the village, duffel bag in hand.

That night Kagome retold her story. Her reunion with Sango was painful for Kagome; she had missed her very much. She held Shippo the whole time, trying to make up for the neglect earlier. The kit easily fell asleep in the lap of his adopted mother. Kagome on the other hand was slowly remembering how it felt to care for a child. She was also gradually remembering how it felt for her friends to care about her. Cyrus was almost obsessed with his creation and Kagome could never see him as anything else other than the creature that took away her life. After she completed her story and answered their questions, Miroku nodded in understanding and offered his apologies. They all apologized for it, but Kagome just waved them away, it was her own fault. Kaede was intrigued by Kagome's change and asked to test her abilities tomorrow.

"Of course." Kagome said immediately. "I would like your opinion." Kagome then sighed. "Cyrus is gonna kill me." She said after a moment. All eyes turned to look at her. "He told me to meet him at our hotel. He'll find my motorcycle tonight, I'm sure, and boy will he be pissed. He barely trusts me at all; I hope the well won't let him through." Immediately Kagome's blood froze. "What if it lets him through?"

Silence reigned in the room for many minutes when Sango uncomfortably cleared her throat. "You feel up to the hot springs?" She asked uncomfortably.

Kagome shrugged. She wasn't too fond of the idea, not really being used to her old life again. But she forced a small smile that didn't reach her eyes and said. "Sounds good." When Sango looked hurt Kagome wanted to kick herself. "No." She amended quickly. "I really wanna go, Sango. I'm just not too used to everything yet, I would love to go."

Sango brightened as much as Sango ever could and stood with a warning glare at Miroku and exited the hut. Kagome stood too. She dug her toiletries bag out of her duffel and then paused. She reached into her bag again and withdrew two packs of ramen. She tossed them to the hanyou in the corner. "Couldn't resist buying them." She muttered at his surprised look. "Their pretty uncommon now, but I..." Kagome trailed of suddenly uncomfortable at going out of her way to please Inuyasha.

"Thanks." Said hanyou mumbled, an almost invisible blush staining his cheeks.

"Welcome." Kagome replied quietly as she swept out of the hut with a very vampiric grace.

Sango stood on the other side of the bamboo mat waiting. They walked toward the spring in silence. Kagome could see the small glances Sango was stealing towards her. Kagome wondered just how much she had changed in her friends eyes. It was hard to remember what she had been like when she was still human. No one had questioned her on her new appearance either. She knew that they were all curious about, especially by the looks they had given her. Kagome had slowed down and Sango now walked a little in front of her. Her hair moved to give Kagome a view of her neck and her heart clenched. 'Kami, it's hard to resist. Even after all these years.'

'You did keep yourself away from humans for the most part.' Her mind whispered to her.

'I purified the demon. It can't control me; I don't need to drink blood like it would.' Kagome's human heart argued back calmly.

'Doesn't mean it wouldn't taste good.' Her mind teased.

'No.' Kagome sighed. It was going to be a long...she wondered how long she would remain with her friends.

"We're here." Sango's voice dragged her back to reality. She hadn't even noticed that they now stood on the banks of the spring.

"Oh. Sorry. I was lost in thought there." Kagome muttered shaking her head. "Shall we?" Kagome asked with a smirk as she undressed. Sango smiled and followed suit. Both women lowered themselves into the water with contented sighs. A comfortable silence fell on them for many minutes as they relaxed and washed up.

"Was your life very hard?" Sango suddenly asked.

From the look on Sango's face Kagome knew that she expected an affirmation. Instead Kagome surprised her by shrugging. "Not as hard as you may think. I was taken to America, an ocean away from home. It made adjusting easier. Cyrus made my human past seem like a different life. He forced me to hold no regret at what I left behind. It made me angry and spiteful at first." Kagome shrugged again not continuing.

"So you just forgot about us?"

'Not entirely.' "In a way." Kagome dunked her head underwater and then resurfaced with a splash. "It was easier. That's why it's gonna take a while for me to get back into the swing of things." Kagome realized that she probably sounded harsh. The look on Sango's face proved her thoughts. Kagome mentally groaned. "Sango. I want to pick back up our friendship, but I beg you to realize that I am not the same Kagome you knew a week ago. I never forgot about you. I just tried not to think about you." Kagome stood and grabbed a towel to dry off. Sango reclined against a rock. Once she finished dressing Kagome said, "I'm gonna head back, okay? Don't stay too much longer; you don't want the pervert to worry." She teased as Sango's eyes snapped open and her mouth moved to deny, but Kagome was already walking away.

Sango sighed. The new Kagome was going to take some getting used to.


	3. Beast and Broken

Disclaimer: Don't own Inuyasha.

Okay, I know this was a quick update but it just flowed out. WARNING: This scene is pretty intense and has gore. Right now Kagome's past isn't too clear but I promise it will be cleared up soon. This is a insight into her turmoil and change. Just as FYI for part of the chapter, I know that Christianity isn't the dominant religion in Japan, but Kagome has been living in the US for 80 years, which explains her exposure. Let me know if I went too far. Thanks to all the readers and reviewers.

Chapter 3: Beast and Broken

Kagome woke in the middle of the night. She had required less and less sleep over the last few decades that she often woke after only two or three hours. She gazed around Kaede's hut and realized how surreal everything seemed to her now. She felt stuck between two realities. One where she was a 98 year old vampire and another where she was again an 18 year old girl spending a few days with her best friends. She felt out of touch and detached. She hadn't had much time to consider the consequences of the well's misfire but now as she sat on her futon her mind was going into overload. What was she doing here? Would the well send her back to the future she lived in now, or would it send her back to the future 500 years from now? Would she go back? If she went back to the future 80 years ago to her, what would she tell her mother? What about Naraku? Inuyasha? Kikyou?

Kagome didn't notice immediately that her brown eyes had begun to glow an ethereal red. Kikyou. She felt a growl growing in her and a very feral hatred rise at the thought of her. Kagome stood abruptly, she could now see that her world was awash in red but didn't care. Her whole body was rigid with suppressed anger and hate. 'I'm not submitting to that bitch's shit anymore. I'm not the weak human girl I was last time she saw me. No more!' Kagome's mind raged. Her blood was boiling and her skin burned. Her last thought replayed as a mantra in her mind as she began to shake with a primal anticipation. Kagome left the confinement of the hut in exchange for the cold night air. Something about the last day had awaken something in her that she had been fighting down for years, it awoke something in her that Cyrus had spent 80 years trying to draw forth.

Her hate. It was washing over her like burning oil. And it woke the beast. Kagome keened lowly as her jaws snapped open and closed repeatedly with desire. Her breath came in pants as she felt her claws flex and her fangs elongate. Her muscles contracted and corded up waiting for release.

Kagome's humanity was panicking; she was losing control and fast. Her sanity was slipping through her fingers. She could feel the remainder of the demon gaining ground. The demon was part of her, part that she would now die without. But she couldn't let it win. No. Not with her friends so close. Not ever. She pooled her pure energy desperately and her head snapped back and forth, testament to her internal battle. Then she let the energy explode within her.

An agonized scream ripped itself from Kagome's throat as she purified herself. She could feel old wounds pull open and new blood run down her arms, face, torso and legs. The excruciating pain took another scream from her as she fell to her knees. She felt the demon crying out in pain as desperate as her own. But the demon fled. And Kagome could feel her humanity and sanity within reach again.

"Kagome!" 'Inuyasha.' Kagome thought as she turned her blood streaked face to look upon her hanyou.

Inuyasha froze at the sight before him. Kagome had her back towards him but she was radiating the scent of terror, pain and so much blood. She was on her knees, her clothes soaked in blood and surrounded by it. She looked over her shoulder when her had screamed out her name and he froze at her damaged face. Chunks of skin were missing and her eyes were swollen. Many places her skin was ragged and claw marks were clearly visible beneath the red of her blood. Her left arm hung loosely out of the socket and a long gash was visible from her shoulder to her left ring finger. The fingers on her right hand were disfigured and broken and bruises were now making themselves known on her already torn body.

"Oh Kami." He whispered in utter horror.

"Inu..." Kagome whimpered. She wished she could pass out, have reprieve from the pain that was throbbing through her body. But it was her punishment for trying to kill apart of herself and she was fully alert. "I'm sorry." She whimpered again. She had never felt more vulnerable. She wanted to tell him that she would be fine. But she couldn't get the words out. She knew hethought she was going to die. What would hehave said if they knew this had happened before. That these wounds were all old wounds. That Cyrus had tortured her into beastial insanity. Her mind swam. Blinding Pain.

She heard a loud gasp and turned slightly to see Miroku, Sango and Kaede watching her with horror filled expressions and churning stomachs. Minutes passed as Kagome was frozen in agony and her friends frozen in disbelief. Inuyasha was the first to recover.

"Shit." He dashed forward to kneel at her side. She was now shaking with the strain of blood loss and pain, yet she still wasn't able to pass out. The hanyou was at a loss for what to do.

"_Our Father which art in heaven..."_ Kagome began whispering her eyes now closed.

Inuyasha's eyes widened a fraction and then he shrugged off his haori and put it around her.

_"Hallowed be Thy Name..."_ Her voice was barely audible and deathly haunting.

"Kaede." Inuyasha demanded from Kagome's side. "Help her dammit."

"_Thy Kingdom come..."_

Kaede and the others shook off their horror and rushed forward to aid their whispering friend.

"_Thy Will be done in earth, as it is in heaven..."_

Together they lifted her delicately off the blood soaked earth.

"_Give Us this day our daily bread..."_

Slowly they headed toward the hut which still held a sleeping Shippou and Kirara.

"_Forgive Us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us..."_

After setting Kagome down on her futon, Kaede rushed to retrieve herbs and bandages.

"_And Lead Us not into temptation..."_

"Hold her." Kaede commanded, when Miroku and Inuyasha obeyed, she began cleaning the wounds of a now convulsing Kagome.

"_but Deliver Us from evil..."_


	4. Memories and Beginning to Heal

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha...but that was a painfully obvious given.

This chapter is kinda the beginning of Kagome being pretty unstable. This will only last a chapter or two at the most and I apologize if it is disturbing to anyone. But it does turn out alright, I swear. Please tell me what you like and don't like... R&R

Chapter 4: Memories and Beginning to Heal

The others settled in for the night as Kagome stared blankly at the ceiling. She felt very weak. Her body was on fire and she could do nothing but lie awake and take the pain. Inuyasha sat against the wall a few feet from her head and was keeping a silent vigil over the slightly insane woman. Kagome felt detached. The pain in her body was all encompassing to point of being numb. She felt like she was floating and watching Inuyasha and her friends through eyes not her own. Control and sanity were just beyond her reach, though their counterparts were still sulking from her energy blast. She was nothing but her mind then. In the quiet of her head she began to think of Cyrus. What would he think of her? She remembered his first intense attack on her. She was barely 10 years old since her rebirth.

FLASHBACK:

"Let go." Cyrus, dressed in his black leather as always, demanded. He didn't yell, he didn't hiss, he didn't hint a bit at any emotion other than a clear demand for obedience. His voice was harsh and even those two simple words felt like a vial insult to the fledgling vamp.

"I won't." Kagome mumbled. Her body was bruised and her head was hung in submission but she wouldn't fall before him or let loose the beast. She was determined. But also surprised that by sheer will power she was able to keep the demon inside from even attempting to break loose. She felt in control of herself. She had watched as Cyrus when he let go of his demon. The sheer destructive power behind that form of release terrified Kagome. She vaguely recalled the look of despondency in Inuyasha's eyes when he recovered from his full demon state with the knowledge that he had massacred in cold blood. Her purity and compassion was just as strong as ever, she would have to be broken to lose her self like that. And she wouldn't be broken, especially if it would please her sire.

A feral roar was the only warning Kagome got before a clawed hand rammed into her sternum and lifted her a good two feet of the ground before slamming her against a wall. Cyrus' demonic irises shone a bright blood red from two or three inches Kagome's face. "Let it out!" Cyrus' demanding roar shook the walls of their New York apartment. Kagome's still brown eyes bored into his and she was surprised to still not detect any anger. Where she was in control of herself, Cyrus effortlessly was in complete control of everything. He held her very life in his hands and there was very little she could do about it. The blood transfer upon her turning made it damn near impossible for her to ever turn against him. It was one of the strongest forms of compulsion and protection. The thought made her shiver.

Kagome stiffened. "No." She ground out as his claws dug themselves around her breast bone. His other hand grabbed her fisted right hand and while he put his face even closer to hers with a vicious snarl slammed her hand against the wall, breaking the bones in her fingers with the impact and crushing in the wall. Kagome let out an involuntary whimper.

"Weak." Cyrus snarled. 'Strong.' Kagome mentally retorted as she locked smoldering brown eyes with his terrifying red ones in defiance.

Cyrus growled and grabbing Kagome by her sternum threw her across the room and onto their glass coffee table. It shattered at the impact and sent shards into Kagome's back. She slowly stood and felt her energy pulse within her. She let her miko and demonic energy blend and flow into her muscles. She wouldn't be nearly as strong as him but she wouldn't let him beat her submissively. With an almost sweet smile she launched her self into Cyrus, her shoulder slamming into his stomach and lifting him off the ground and into the wall that he had held her up to moments before. She felt her shoulder jar out of the socket on the impact but dug her claws into his sides as she snarled against his chest. "Why?" She growled into him. "Why won't you leave me be?" She felt his arms slid around her and embrace her tenderly.

"Because little one, I worry about you." His voice was softened and kinder. Kagome let go of him and sagged in his arms and whimpered in pain. "I'm afraid you will get yourself killed and not be able to defend yourself."

"Cy. I can't. You don't understand." Kagome felt as weak as he saw her. "I'm still a miko, just as much as I am a vampire, I can't embrace one and forsake the other."

"Shh, little one, rest. I will watch over you." He placed a tender kiss on her nose.

END

Kagome began to laugh from her position on the floor, but it was cynical, humorless laughter. He could always disarm her with his kindness. Kagome couldn't see the worried golden eyes that were locked on her form from the wall behind her. Inuyasha was terrified for Kagome. She seemed to be slipping. Not physically, she was surprisingly uninfected and healing well. But mentally she seemed lost and that was what terrified him. Yes. He'd admit to himself he was scared. Physical wounds could be healed with herbs but mental wounds took so much more. And for once no amount of intimidation or brute strength could help him.

For Kagome, the night slipped on slowly. Seconds and minutes blurred into an incomprehensible flow of time and Kagome was surprised when she saw the first rays of sunlight slip into the hut. After a night of nothingness, Kagome lashed out and regained her sanity though she could feel that it was slippery and shifting. Who knew how long she could hold on?

"Inuyasha?" She called softly. She could feel her wounds healing and knew that it would only take another day or two for her to recover completely.

In a moment he was squatting at her side with a questioning raised eyebrow. Kagome scanned his eyes and saw the worry that she could feel as soon as she had come to her senses.

"I'll be fine."

Her friends, even Shippou avoided her that morning with almost painful deliberation. Kagome braced herself trying to understand that she look horrible. She hoped that by that night her body would be healed enough for some of the bandages to be removed. She focused all her healing on fixing her face first. She was left in solitude for most of the day as the others went about various business that she wasn't privy to. She couldn't help but feel lonelier then than she had living with Cyrus the last 80 years. Even amongst people she had considered her family for many years, she felt shunned. She had a feeling it was unintentional. In her many hours of solitary confinement that day, she began to worry that perhaps her friends were incapable of accepting such a changed person. She rationalized that they were above petty things like that and some where deep inside she knew it was just paranoia but that didn't help the gnawing fear in her gut. It was night before she saw any of them again. The entered the hut almost single file, Miroku first, who gave her a weak smile, Sango who offered her the same, Kaede with Shippou and then Inuyasha a few minutes later. Kaede started up a fire and some water to boil and they all sat in uneasy silence.

Kagome's eyes strayed to Inuyasha who was looking at the floor and she sighed, when had her world gone so skewed? She forced herself to sit up, causing everyone in the room to stare disbelieving at her. She went to unwrap her facial bandages when she looked at her right hand that was still mangled and sighed again. "Kaede?" The old woman looked at her obediently. "Please help me to remove the bandages on my face. The others need to be changed but I think my face is okay now." Her voice was soft and resigned. Kaede moved to do as she was asked without questioning the young looking woman who now held more years to her name than she. Kaede's eyes widened when she saw only smooth skin on the other side of the bandages. "It takes a lot of energy to heal. Inuyasha could agree. The rest will take longer, I need energy to do it, and I can't sleep to replenish my energy until I am healed. I will just have to rest."

"Who did this to you, Kagome?" Inuyasha demanded in a gruff slightly worried voice.

Kagome cocked her head slightly. "I did." She said simply. Then her brows furrowed. "Well not initially." She felt herself slipping as memories assaulted her and a bubble of laughter came forth from her. Her friends stared at her with something a kin to horror.

Sorry if Kagome's a little OOC but shes got a lot going on right now. Hope everyone can see that. Are the chapters okay length... or should I make 'em longer? Click the Review button...


	5. The Call of a Tired Child

Disclaimer: Don't own Inuyasha, though we all wish we did.

AN: The lyrics in here are 2 verses from "Comfortably Numb" by Pink Floyd and the poem is "Nothing Gold Can Stay" by Robert Frost (Don't own those either). Hope you guys like this chapter. R&R!

Chapter 5: The Call of a Tired Child

"What?" Sango barely managed to get out.

Kagome's brows seemed to furrow in even more intense thought. And she nodded slowly. "Kaggie lost control." Kagome's head snapped to the side as if she was hit. And with a feral grin she continued in a lowly voice. "Poor Kaggie couldn't handle the hate." Then her eyes shone with childlike glee. "Kaggie let the monster come out and play." She said in a sing song way.

"Who are you?" Inuyasha demanded flexing his claws as he began to growl.

Kagome's face fell. "I'm Kagome, love." She said very seriously.

Inuyasha faulted at her words and pet name and his growl disappeared.

"Then who's Kaggie?" Miroku asked calmly.

Suddenly Kagome's head dropped back and released a roar. "The soul!" Without warning Kagome's body was picked up off the ground and thrown clear into the air and onto the other side of the hut and skidded to a stop next to a terrified Shippou. Kagome sat up straight with a snarl. "Who's the bitch now?" She muttered as she stood up.

"Ka-Kagome?" Shippou stuttered.

Her face immediately softened and she bent down to pick up her the kit, but Shippou bit his lip and shuffled backward toward Sango. Kagome's heart wrenched. "Oh, Shippou. I never meant to scare you. Kagg-" She stopped herself. "I'm not very well right now." Her gaze skittered over all her friends. "Kami, I'm really not right." She felt her hold on rationale slip and she snarled. "No." She mumbled. "No." She backed toward the bamboo mat and door. "I'll try to be back by morning. Then we can finish what we started." She fingered the jewel around her neck meaningfully.

"Are you going to be okay?" Miroku questioned with concern.

"I don't know." Kagome answered and ran from the hut and into the night air. She ran until she broke into the forest and then she let herself fall to the ground. "Stop talking." She told herself. 'You can't deny us forever.' A voice more feral than her own replied in her mind. "I will deny you for as long as it takes." She bellowed slamming her hand onto the dirt ground. 'Come on Kaggie, you could have fun with us, we only want to play.' A child's voice taunted. "You're as bad as him." Kagome screamed to herself. 'Father was only trying to help us, Kaggie.' The child continued. "He's trying to break me." Kagome said quietly as she moved to sit against a tree, her knees drawn up to her chin and her arms wrapped around her shins. "It shouldn't be like this." Kagome muttered. "I am one person, not three damn it." For once she received no answer.

"Kagome?" Her head turned to look at the hanyou's approaching figure. Though his face was gruff, his eyes were burning with poorly concealed concern.

"Stay with me?" She asked with a tired voice.

He nodded slowly and warily sat beside her.

"I'm scared." She whispered into her knees.

Inuyasha moved into a squat and shifted in front of her. He took her right hand carefully in his. He gently felt her slowly healing fingers with his and grimaced at their blue and purple coloring. He drew lazy circles on her hand with his thumb without thinking and looked up at her. "Who did this?"

"Cyrus." She said looking into his eyes.

"Are all these from him?" He continued his thumb movements

"Most."

"He tries to draw out the beast, doesn't he? The monster you were talking about in the hut."

"He tries. He beats me until I fight back. I've never lost control like that. It frightens me. I've never felt hate like that before. I fed off of it."

"What triggered it?" He asked his voice still uncharacteristically tender.

'Kikyou.' Kagome thought sadly and quickly pulled her hand away from his and shivered, shifting her eyes away from his face.

Inuyasha snarled quietly and sighed heavily. "Her?"

Kagome shrugged. She really didn't want to be talk about her with him right now. Not when she could lose herself so easily. "Not just." Kagome muttered as she shifted uncomfortably. "I can't talk about that right now."

"If I asked you, would you tell me what's wrong?" Inuyasha asked abruptly.

"And what would you say if I told you I am losing my mind?" Kagome's face scrunched up in disgust and she shook her head. "That I talk to myself and am tempted to bite you, to drink the blood of everyone in that hut, that my control is dangling on a very thin thread and there is no one I can talk to about it to help?"

"You can talk to me." He stated in a weak voice. Kagome's eyes rose to meet his. "I've lost control too; I know what its like to become an animal, Kagome. I could never judge you for a fault I share."

"I tried to kill it." Kagome said flatly after a few moments of uncomfortable silence.

"What?" The hanyou asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I tried to purify the demon, Inuyasha." Kagome laughed mirthlessly. "I attacked myself. This," Kagome gestured to her bandages. "is punishment, in a way. I can't sleep or lose consciousness until I've healed. The demon hold's control enough for that."

"You mentioned Kaggie, which part is that?" Inuyasha asked to reaffirm what he had heard her bellow before.

"My soul, my purity. The miko." Kagome answered reluctantly.

"Like my human half." Inuyasha stated and Kagome nodded slowly. Inuyasha's arms twitched in almost indecision. Kagome watched him with mild interest, knowing that he was debating on whether to hold her or not. Then he moved towards her and swept her gently off the ground and leapt into the branches of the tree they had sat against. Kagome let herself curl against his warmth with a smile.

"Thank you for understanding." Kagome whispered feeling for once like the 18 year old girl she had been 8 decades ago as she mentally sighed in contentment.

"Feh." Inuyasha replied and a small blush spread across his nose and cheeks.

'We like him.' The child's voice said quietly in Kagome's mind. She nodded slowly against Inuyasha's haori. 'I love him.' She agreed for once with the voices.

Morning sent bright rays of sun into the faces of the two still huddled together in the tree. Kagome came back to herself from zoning out to see Inuyasha dozing quietly his head against her shoulder. She shifted into his chest and his eyes fluttered open. His cheeks immediately flushed crimson.

Kagome laughed lightly with exhaustion. "Good morning."

"Mornin'." Inuyasha muttered as he put his arms around Kagome and dropped out of the tree. His knees bent at the impact and he let her down slowly and stepped away. Kagome immediately missed his warmth but knew that intimacy was something that he might never be comfortable with, at least not with her. Inuyasha turned silently and started heading back to the village. 'He has her.' Kagome thought to herself with regret. 'He doesn't want us.' The child cried out in her mind. 'We could kill her.' Her demon interjected. 'I intend to.' Kagome bit out mentally. Her eyes widened as she followed Inuyasha. "No." She told herself aloud.

"What?" Inuyasha asked, looking over his shoulder as he kept walking. Concern grew deeper in his eyes when she merely smiled weakly and shook her head helplessly.

'What I have right now is enough.' Kagome told herself unconvincingly. She thought of his eyes with a small smile. _'Nature's first green is gold_,' the child's voice sung softly in Kagome's head. "_Her hardest hue to hold_." Kagome continued quietly out loud, hanging her head. Ahead of her, her hanyou's ears swiveled in her direction but he sighed and said nothing about her ramblings. "_Her early leaf's a flower; but only so an hour_." She muttered her eyes sorrowful at the meaning behind her ranting. "_Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief_," She felt a dry sob well up in her chest and she beat down the feeling calmly. She stopped her recital as a lump grew in her throat. _'So dawn goes down to day_.' The child's voice prompted. "_Nothing gold can stay_." Kagome whimpered out dejectedly. 'He will leave you if you do nothing.' Her demon muttered bitterly. "I know, I know." Kagome said out loud, lost in her internal dialogue and unaware of the looks she was receiving from the villagers she was now walking by.

Inuyasha quietly walked trying to block out the mutterings of the woman following him. She sounded broken, and the fact that Kagome, who had always seemed so grounded, was talking to herself, broke his heart. He wasn't there to protect her from Cyrus and now he couldn't protect her from herself. Nine days ago he had realized something. He had finally admitted to himself that he wouldn't go with Kikyou to hell. He had found someone else to live for. And he had decided to tell her when she had come back. But now? He glanced over his shoulder to see Kagome's head hung and he could hear her talking quietly to herself. Why did fate have to be so cruel to him, and to her? Now his dreams of bliss seemed so far away. Kagome was slowly losing herself and he was losing her. He couldn't tell her his feelings until things were solved. How long that would take, he wasn't sure.

A loud smack and the sound of a body crumpling to the forest floor jerk Kagome out of her thoughts and internal conversation. She had been thinking about Cyrus again. The group had only been walking a short while and was now by the well. It was nighttime, they had left that night and intended to travel all night and day, to get a head start on the renewed shard hunt. Kagome eyed the well. The voices and her control were getting worse. She was positive that Cyrus was just on the other side of the well fuming at her. Kagome stopped and inched toward it. She looked down into its depths without a word. She heard her friends questioning her but she was lost in her thoughts. She needed Cyrus but he would never let her come back. She fell to her knees and placed her chin on the smooth wood of the well. Both the child's and demonic voices were talking, but Kagome was too distracted to make out more than white noise.

"Cy, I need you." She whispered as she ran her fingers along the wood. 'Bring father here.' The child's voice rang out. 'We are connected to Father, we can do so.' "He'll send me back, I can't." Kagome whispered into the well.

"Kagome!" Inuyasha's demanding voice cut through her thoughts and she turned to look at him. "Talk to me damn it. What the hell's the matter?"

'We like him, Kaggie.' The child cooed. 'He will protect us from Father's rage.' "Will you protect me?" Kagome asked quietly of Inuyasha.

Inuyasha blushed. "Feh. Of course, wench, I said I would didn't I?" He said angrily to cover his embarrassment.

"I'm going to bring Cyrus here." Kagome said standing up. The voices for once quiet. "He can help me. But he may try to bring me back."

Inuyasha snarled at that. "No one's taking you anywhere, Kagome." He said flexing his claws. Kagome smiled weakly and thanked him.

Then she turned back to the well. "I hope this works." She felt her fangs lengthen and she quickly bit deeply into her left wrist. She turned the now bleeding appendage and held it over the well, watching in morbid fascination as the well began to glow bright white as the blood hit the magic within. With her uninjured right hand she took her index finger, smeared it with blood and drew the kanji for obedience onto the lip of the well. "With blood spilt and demand made, your child calls. The sire shall obey." Then she slammed her now blood covered left hand onto the kanji. "Come!" She screamed as she heard the wood beneath her hand splinter. In an instant she felt strong arms wrap around her and a cool tongue lap up at her injured wrist. The baritone growl from behind Kagome verified that Cyrus was here and a certain hanyou was royally pissed about it. Kagome couldn't care less. She fell against the solid wall of her sire and almost cried in relief. "Thank Kami that worked." She muttered as she straightened up and stepped away from him.

She turned to see Cyrus, dressed in black slacks, a black silk button up dress shirt, black combat boots and an ankle length black leather trench coat. His black hair was cut short and spiky, and unfortunately for her, his eyes were glowing red.

"Cyrus." She called softly. "Right now is not time to punish me."

"Really." He drawled in his loud demonic voice. "Cause I was thinking that a long punishment was in order for your disobedience."

"Later, please." She begged. "I beg of you to wait to teach me a well deserved lesson. I was wrong to come, I was, Cy. But it's too late to change that. Now we are both here, and we both need to be in the best of health. Later." She soothed reaching out to touch his shoulder.

"You're going to let him beat you!?" Inuyasha bellowed snapping out of his stupor. Kagome rolled her eyes.

"Don't make me say it." She said with a tired strained voice. She looked up to meet Cyrus' eyes that were now back to their normal gray. "Sango, Miroku, Shippou, Inuyasha, this is Cyrus." She said stepping out from behind the wall that was her sire and addressed her friends. Inuyasha was raging, his knuckles white on Tetsugaiga's hilt and his eyes burning. Sango had a firm grip on her boomerang while Miroku stood calmly by with his hand resting on his staff. Cyrus turned and eyed the group. After an uncomfortable moment he nodded his head slightly in acknowledgement.

"You can release your death grip on Tetsugaiga." Kagome said with a small smile. Inuyasha 'fehed' but relaxed his stance, keeping his hand on the hilt still. Kagome looked back to Cyrus who was looking her over.

"You're hurt." He said quietly. His hand gently touching Kagome's remaining bandages. "These wounds look very familiar, little one." He said looking back up into her eyes.

"I know." She muttered despondently. "I purified myself." She mumbled.

Cyrus' eyebrow rose. "Did you?" Then he grinned dangerously. "You let it out, the demon rose, didn't it?"

Kagome recoiled from him. "Almost." She spat. "Kami, Cy. Not this shit again." She ground out.

"If someone doesn't start explaining I'm going to let you both meet Hirakoutsu, intimately." Sango almost screamed in frustration.

"I agree." Miroku offered calmly.

Cyrus gave them both a cold glare and then grabbed Kagome's elbow. "Come, little one. You called me here for a reason. Let us go some place where we can discuss this."

Kagome nodded. "I think you're the only one that can help me." Kagome saw Inuyasha's ears droop slightly at this and she almost smiled. Cyrus stepped away. "Sango, Miroku, Shippou, stay here, we will be back in an hour or two, I promise to explain later. Right now I just need Cyrus." Then Kagome turned to Inuyasha and held out her clawed hand, palm up. He looked into her eyes and nodded to the silent plea. 'I need you, too.' She thought. He hesitantly reached his hand out to meet hers. Kagome swiftly intertwined their fingers and pulled him off toward Cyrus.

Kagome sat heavily down across from Cyrus in the small clearing he had found. Inuyasha settled down next to Kagome and stared at Cyrus hostilely.

Kagome swallowed hard under Cyrus' hard gaze. "When you were first turned..." Kagome began, Cyrus' eyebrow rose in question. "Did they ever talk to you?"

Inuyasha stiffened and Cyrus shifted. "They?" He questioned.

Kagome huffed. "Like tangible aspects of yourself." She tried to explain impatiently. She was worried by the way her sire was looking at her; she had a distinct feeling that he hadn't experienced it.

Cyrus confirmed her suspicions with a shake of his head. "Though I have heard of it in those that resist the transformation."

"Celibates?" Kagome asked confused. "But I'm not, I feed, I know what I am." Inuyasha's aura darkened at those words but she felt him squeeze her hand gently. She felt a strange reassurance wash over her and she sighed.

"Tell me more." Cyrus urged.

Kagome spent the better part of the hour detailing to him the voices and their words, while of course leaving out anything to do with her feelings toward the hanyou. She finished her recollection with a frustrated growl.

"You're unbalanced, little one." Kagome gave him a cold 'you think?' glare and he continued harshly. "I didn't mean mentally, though insanity is probably a possibility too."

"Get to the point." Inuyasha bit out finally after his 50 minute silence. "Can you help her?"

Cyrus turned his cold glare on the hanyou and smirked. "As I was saying," he turned back to Kagome. "You're body and mind aren't at peace. I found my peace in releasing my demon, but as you said, you are a miko and a vampire, you can't forsake either. I don't know where you can find you're peace, but until then I suggest you fight yourself as little as possible. Not giving them something to fight might hold of the insanity."

Kagome was downtrodden at the news. She was doomed unless she found her balance, which probably wasn't going to happen. Kagome groaned in mental agony. "Shit."

Cyrus moved to comfort her, but stopped at Inuyasha's warning growl. The hanyou turned and gathered the once miko into his arms and lap. Kagome didn't cry as she wanted to but she just curled up into the warmth of the man she loved. She felt once again empty; the feeling was becoming familiar and almost comfortable.

_Hello,  
Is there anybody in there  
Just nod if you can hear me  
Is there anyone at home  
Come on now  
I hear you're feeling down  
I can ease your pain  
And get you on your feet again _

Inuyasha helplessly cradled the woman's smaller form and whispered reassurances into her hair where he had buried his head. Cyrus watched with disinterest and then walked off when Inuyasha gave him a glare than clearly said back off. Inuyasha turned his attention Kagome's face, the blood had drained from it and she was completely limp in his arms. He grew more concerned at the completely blank, glazed look in her eyes.

_Relax  
I'll need some information first  
Just the basic facts  
Can you show me where it hurts  
  
_"Come on, Kagome." He pled softly into the crown of her head. "We can do this, you and I. Just come back, then we'll figure this out." When the woman began to shiver, Inuyasha opened his haori and drew her into the warmth of his chest without much thought. 'What am I doing?' he questioned himself.

_There is no pain you are receding  
A distant ship smoke on the horizon  
You are only coming through in waves  
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying  
_

"I'm tired." Kagome whispered in a hollow haunted voice.

Inuyasha almost jumped at her voice. "Course, you haven't sleep in several days."

But Kagome shook her head slowly. "Tired of being me. Tired of being weak. Tired of fighting. I can hardly remember my other life anymore. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of being stuck. Make it end, make it all go away, Inu." Her emotionless tired haunting voice mumbled against his chest.

_When I was a child  
I caught a fleeting glimpse  
Out of the corner of my eye  
I turned to look but it was gone  
I cannot put my finger on it now  
The child is grown  
The dream is gone  
_

"I'm here, Kagome." Inuyasha whispered as he stood up with her in his arms bridal style. "I'll help you; I'll help your pain go away." Inuyasha's chest was going to burst with pain he was feeling at seeing the woman he had come to love so numb.

Kagome opened her mouth and finished the lyrics the child had been singing in her head emotionlessly. "_And I have become, comfortably numb_."


End file.
